If you’re trying to answer the question, “should I move back home?” and you’re consulting the Internet for advice, then we’re just going to go ahead and assume that you’re really lost.
Maybe you don’t have friends or family that you feel comfortable talking about it with, or you just need some advice from a third-party that can be like, “hold on, bucko, have you thought about this?” but whatever it is, this guide to whether or not you should move back home is going to take you through all of the reasons you should, and shouldn’t, and what matters the most.
Because there are some great reasons to move back home, and then there are some terrible ones, and there are also other things to consider (oh yeah, those parents of yours – do they want you there?)
So before you pack your bags, let’s dive in.
Treat this guide like a flowchart, if you will, with the most important considerations first.
Financial Considerations for Moving Back Home
The most popular reason for still living at home or moving back home is financial.
Money talks, and sometimes it says, “oh wait, there is none of me, you need to move back.”
But, in general, the answer to “should I move back home?” is no – not if you can help it.
The reason?
Leaving home is about gaining your independence, and going back home after you’ve already moved out can be a little bit of a step backwards.
It doesn’t have to be terrible or stunt you too much, but it definitely can if you’re not careful.
Consider these things when deciding whether to move back home because of money.
Are You Out of Money Completely?
If you are destitute or have completely run into hard times with no money to your name, then it may be time to move back home.
If you have the option of moving back home, you should almost always take that as opposed to trying to sleep on friend’s couches or worse, being homeless.
It can feel defeating, but it can give you the space you need to get back on your feet and think things through, and if there’s no money for rent and no way of getting it, then you’re going to want to seriously consider moving back home.
Not because you want to, but because there’s no other option.
Are You Saving for a House?
Have you seen the cost of houses these days?
It can be astronomical, and so much harder than in previous years to save up that money for a deposit.
If you’re saving for a down payment on a house, it can sometimes be financially beneficial to move back home if your parents will charge you no or reduced rent.
Put the money you would have spent on rent each month towards that down payment, and use this as a way to try and set yourself up for success in the future.
Again, this works if you have a definite goal.
Have You Tried All Other Options to Make Enough Money to Live on Your Own?
Before you move back home for money reasons, really ask yourself, “have I tried all other options?”
You shouldn’t aim to live at home forever, so what are you going to do differently now that is going to mean you have more money for the future to move out again?
Sometimes, it can be a hard choice to have to get a new job or get multiple jobs or reconsider your cost of living (maybe you didn’t need that luxury apartment and need to downsize.”
But if you’re asking “should I move back home?” and you haven’t really tried to improve your financial situation, it’s time to do those things first before walking back in to your childhood.
Part of adult life is figuring out how to manage on your own, financially as well, and sometimes it takes a little bit of persistence and no fallback plan to make that happen.
Don’t just run home at the sign of any financial issues, because it’s not a long term solution.
Emotional Considerations for Moving Back Home
If you’re considered the financial aspects, the second most important considerations are emotional, because not being in the right frame of mind or ready for the emotions that come with living back at home can be a disaster.
Do Your Parents Want You to Move Back Home?
It’s not just your emotions to consider in a situation.
Do your parents genuinely want you to move back home, or are accepting of it? Or do you feel like they’re hesitant and it’s all your idea?
You don’t want to be in a situation where you’re living with people who are a little judgmental (maybe rightly so) about you being there.
It’s going to create a lot of turmoil, and there’s no point in moving back home if your parents aren’t very on board with it.
Can You Grow as a Person While Living at Home?
When you move back home, are you going to be able to continue growing as a person and trying new things?
Or will you revert back to your previous self and whatever relationship dynamics you had with people as a teenager or young adult?
Is being back home really good for your emotional wellbeing?
Note: just because you’re surrounded by love and care doesn’t mean it’s good for you, emotionally.
Sometimes, we have to go through the hard lessons and learn the hard way how to stand on our own, emotionally, and be independent and not codependent people.
This is one of the most important things to consider, because you need to live a rich and fulfilling life that involves a healthy self-esteem and not just feeling like you’re bumming around at home or being coddled by your parents.
Social Considerations for Moving Back Home
When it comes to moving back home, there are some social considerations that you’ve got to take into account.
Sometimes, it feels like the grass is greener financially, but are you prepared for some of the social things that you might not have thought of?
Do you know people who live near your old home?
A lot of times, we get used to “home”, as in, our childhood home or parent’s home, being near people we know.
We grew up with the kids on the street, we went to the local high school or college.
But what about today? What is the social network like if you were to move back home?
Do your friends all live in the same area, or have they moved away?
Is there any social scene around there for people your age, or is it a retirement community that was fine when you were 8 but now is not so fun?
Really consider your current friend situation and what that would be like if you moved back home.
Would you gain new friends/relationships?
Find it harder to meet up with your current group?
Think about it!
Are you prepared to have your social life be under your parent’s roof again?
If you’re moving back home at any age, you’re going to have to get used to your social life happening under your parent’s roof again.
You no longer have a place of your own to invite people to, socially or romantically.
This can be a huge stumbling block and downright depressing experience for people who have already left home and are now moving back.
All of that freedom that you had is gone, and even if you have the coolest parents in the world, it can be a little bit awkward for a 25 year old to say, “hey, guys? Want to have a poker night around my parent’s house?”
Are you prepared for this? If not, or if it doesn’t sound great and you have other options than to move home, reconsider.
Temporary Reasons to Move Back Home
Sometimes, the answer to the question, “should I move back home?” is, “yes – temporarily!”
Here are some of the most common reasons you could probably just say a quick “yes” to moving back home, as long as you have future plans.
Need a Place to Go Before a New Lease Starts
Sometimes, you might be in between leases or need a short term place to go before a new lease starts or before your new house is ready to move into.
In this case, go for it!
Move back home, if your parents will allow it, and use that sweet, sweet place to stay short-term so you don’t have to worry about finding other accommodation.
Moving to a New Area and Need to Get Regrouped
This is similar to a new lease starting or ending, but if you’re moving to a new area completely and need a place to “land” before you get settled there, sometimes moving back home is totally fine.
It can give you a safe place to do research from, pack, and use as your (re) launching pad before you make your big move, and you get to spend some quality time with your parents beforehand.
Need to Save a Finite Amount of Money
If you need to save for a deposit on a house or just a finite amount of money for something big and your parents are happy to let you stay at home for less than the cost of renting somewhere yourself, do it!
However, this needs to be finite. It’s fine to say you want to live at home to save money, but not forever and once you’ve already moved out and are questioning whether you should move back home, you need to make sure you have a “get out” plan.
“I need to save $5,000 to afford XYZ, so I’m moving back home to help me get those savings” is one thing. “I want to save money indefinitely and not be an adult and have a place of my own anymore” is another.
A Physical or Mental Issue
If you have a medical issue or mental health issue that means that moving back home is the best thing for you to get the care you need, then absolutely go for it.
These are the moments when “should I move back home” is usually answered with a resounding “yes.” It can be extremely difficult to heal on your own, sometimes, and having that extra support there may be crucial for your well-being.
Don’t feel bad about needing to move back home for this reason.
